School dances, girls dresses, and a soapbox by Emilia Mancini

I apologize for getting my post up late. I was up until midnight living the life of a PTSA mom. It’s as glamorous as being a PTA mom, but now we are middle school parent volunteers and have do things like chaperon Valentine’s Day dances.

Now, I think we can all agree given that I write erotica and sell sex toys, I’m not exactly a stick in the mud. I’m pretty laid back as a parent and feel like my twelve year old has a lot of freedom…consistent with what a twelve year old can handle.

That being said, this mama is stepping on a soapbox. This is a rant, a parental rant, a feministic rant, and while this may not be the right audience, I have to ask…I just have to know…Why are so many twelve year old girls showing up at school dances dressed like hos going out clubbing? Skin-tight mini-skirts with tank tops and stilettos? High-heeled knee-high boots with strapless thigh-length dresses? All paired with makeup reminiscent of a cheap hooker? At a middle school dance? When the dress code was casual?

Moms, what are you doing to your daughters? This isn’t cute. This isn’t cute at all. I am all for women feeling sexy when they go out to party, but your little girl is not a woman. She is a little girl. She shouldn’t be dressing sexy. She’s not old enough to be dressing sexy. She shouldn’t even own sexy clothes!

I know they’re young, I know they’re still growing and testing the waters and all that. But we parents are there to provide guidance and encouragement, we need to take that seriously and that doesn’t always mean going with “what’s cool” and letting your child wear whatever she wants. Sometimes it means reminding her that she’s not grown up yet and some things aren’t appropriate for her yet.

If the mom who writes erotica is shaking her head at your daughter’s outfit, it may be a little too skimpy. Just sayin’.

So as a writer of hot, steamy sex books; as a woman who hates what society is teaching our girls; and as a mom who is fighting this battle right beside you, I implore you to think about the message you’re giving your twelve-year-old daughter when you let her dress like the only thing she has to offer the world is her body.

Here’s what very little girl—every almost woman—should to know:

Despite what our culture tells you, there are better ways to get the attention you want than showing off your body. There are great things, wonderful things you can do with your mind, and there are wonderful men who will like you for the right reasons. Those guys will make you feel beautiful no matter what you wear, even sweats and a t-shirt. And on those occasions when you do dress sexy for him, you’re going to blow his mind and he’ll let you know it…respectfully. Because catcalls from boys isn’t respect. It isn’t the kind of attention you want. Catcalls aren’t a show of affection. They are a show of disrespect, of possession, by man-boys who have no idea how to treat a woman. Do not lower yourself to this, do not put yourself into this mold that society has made for you. You are better than that, you deserve better than that, but this world will not give it to you unless you demand it.

So go out there in age appropriate clothing and demand it.


4 thoughts on “School dances, girls dresses, and a soapbox by Emilia Mancini

  1. Preach it sister!

    As a mom of two future young men, I want to be able to teach them all the wonderful ways they can show a girl/woman that they find them attractive, not just for how they look. Help a momma out here and remind your girls that they are worth more than their physical appearance.

    And can I just say how happy I am to have boys? I do not envy you moms of girls the challenges you face these days shouldering the responsibility of raising young women.


  2. You go, girl. I just don’t understand why girls want to grow up so fast? You spend the majority of your life as an adult – be a kid while you can.

    And like Nickie, I am soooo happy I had a boy. And he is a gentleman because I wouldn’t let him be anything else.
    Oh and the last survey I saw on what a single of either sex looks for in someone: 69% said “has a great personality.”


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