Christmas is coming! Christmas is coming! I’m so excited.
No, not because I’ll be seeing love and joy through my kids eyes or having a wonderful meal with my family. I mean, yeah, that’s part of it–love those little Mancini babies and all their love and joy…but the absolutely best part about this Christmas? The big box sitting under my tree that is holding this amazing present…and it has my name on it.
How do I know? Did I sneak a peek? Gasp! I would never. Do I have x-ray vision? I wish! Am I telepathic? Nope, not in this life. I simply have the most wonderful mother-in-law in all the land who ordered exactly what I asked for…a new purse!
To this, Mr. Mancini sighed. He rolled his eyes. He made that disapproving sound that only a husband married to a woman with a closet full of purses and shoes can make. (It’s eerily similar to the noise I make when he promises that he’ll fix that leaky faucet eventually…but that’s a whole different post.)
The need for a new purse can’t be helped. It cannot be denied. It is an impulse that is a million times greater than all my logic, a desire that burns hotter than a thousand burning suns. I don’t know how or when it happened, really, I just know it did. I just know that I, Emilia Mancini, have a purse fetish. Not just any purses. No, my loves, my fetish is for purses that are so large I could carry a litter of puppies inside.
I like to keep things in my bag. Lots of things. Like tissues, hand sanitizer…small countries. I need pockets for everything. I need organization. I need sleeves and pockets and pen holders. I have a digital recorder, pens, notebooks, a camera, and a laptop that I carry for work. So, yeah, these big monstrous purses I carry serve a purpose. But more than that, they make me feel secure. I don’t feel good while carrying a cutesy little purse. I mean…how can I fit all my stuff in there? I have to leave something behind and it is, without a doubt, something that I will regret not having with me. What if I find the aforementioned litter of puppies abandoned by some heartless beast? How could I carry them all to safety? I mean…that could happen, right?
I know I’m not alone in this. Please, someone, tell me I’m not alone in this. Whether it be purses or shoes or sexy undies, we all have something, right? We all have that one item that we couldn’t possibly need more of, but can’t stop buying. I want to know… What is your shopping fetish? Perhaps we could start a support group (or at least tell each other where the really great deals are!)
While you are pondering your answer, let me take a moment to wish you, no matter what or how you are celebrating, a very happy holiday season. Thank you all for being so wonderful to us here at LLL, we cherish each and everyone of you!