What do you do when it’s time to write a blog post, and nothing comes to mind? I could talk about my grief, how we’re still mucking through this new life, but to be honest, for once I’m not in the mood to talk or write about it. Actually, I’m rarely in the mood to talk about it, but usually, writing about it comes easy. Except for today.
I could talk about the other things going on in my life, I suppose. I’m writing this on a Sunday, and I haven’t seen my husband and daughter for five days. They’ve been in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, partaking in the annual boys’ fishing trip.
Yep, you read that correctly: the boys’ fishing trip. Has always been my husband, his brother and brother-in-law, and their sons. My daughter, for the first time, decided she wanted to go. She’s currently going through a phase of attempting to cling to her brother’s memories by following in his footsteps in every possible way. My husband is loving it, of course, although it makes me nervous. This is my first experience dealing with this sort of grief, and I never know if we’re doing it right. I keep bringing it up to my therapist, though, and she keeps insisting it’s fine, so I’m trying to convince myself she’s the expert and I shouldn’t worry.
They’re finally heading home, should be here this evening. In the meantime, I’m packing my bags, as tomorrow morning I’ll be heading out of town for a week, thanks to the day job. Won’t be back until Thursday. That’s a long time to be away from your family for anyone, but as it’s still so new to have this smaller version of my own family, it’s even harder, I think. The good news is, two days after I return, we leave for our annual summer vacation.
One week, lounging on a beach, with no other worries except to feed ourselves and have fun. Maybe shower once in a while. It’s my favorite week of the entire year. It’s also the first time we’ll be doing it without my son, so I’m a little nervous the memories, the grief, the pain will dampen what should be a relaxing, enjoyable week. I’ve been giving myself pep talks for weeks now, trying to reassure myself it’s okay to have fun, and it’s okay to grieve, too. We’ll see how it goes, I suppose. I’ve learned a ton from this experience, including the fact that life goes on, no matter what.
Well look at that. I managed to write a blog post after all.
Tami Lund sometimes writes seemingly pointless blog posts. She’s also an author, and one of her books happens to be on sale this week. It’s the start of a three-book series about a cursed shapeshifter and a woman who’s the last of her kind, and their oil-and-water relationship. If you’re curious, check it out here, for only 99 cents: OF LOVE AND DARKNESS.