No, Spanx.

On a recent business trip to Tennessee, I had brought a cute dress to wear. I had also packed a pair of Spanx to wear under that dress because it smooths out the panty lines.

(Who am I kidding. It smooths EVERYTHING out, not just panty lines.)

Wet from the shower, and struggling to get ready on time, I put one leg in the elastic and yanked to begin the arduous task of pulling them up. They make it look so easy on commercials, don’t they? Smiling women effortlessly roll them up, then pull shirts down over their new, svelte silhouettes.

That’s not happening in my situation. It’s not even close. I pull them up, they roll down. Pull up, roll down. I try again, more determined than ever, but have to stop to take a sip of  disgusting hotel coffee for strength. Huffing and puffing, I finally get them up where they belong and pause for breath and to rest my sore, aching shoulder. However, my victory is short lived.

The speed at which the Spanx roll down reminds me of a white windowshade in reverse.

They sit at my waist, this pretzel looking wad of elastic, and they mock me.

what are you gonna do now? they ask.

I admit defeat. That is what I do. I’m out of time and my poor shoulder (the one I have to have surgery on) is throbbing. I kick them at the wall, throw the dress on the bed and choose some dress pants that don’t require Spanx.

Later, my sister asked if I felt the earthquake in Tennessee. I’m sure it’s a coincidence that the quake seemed to coincide with me hurling my Spanx against the wall.

(Actual text with my sis below)

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KU Book Lovers Promo & A Freebie for You!

I have two things for you today.

First is this KU promo thingie. Basically, I got together with 49 other authors and compiled a list of books for you to devour over your holiday break. Oh come on, you can do it!

Here’s the link: https://www.bookvixens.com/kindle-unlimited

4c

My book in the mix is Sexy Bad Neighbor. It’s the first in the Sexy Bad series that I co-write with Misti Murphy, and if you love it, the entire series is in KU. Enjoy!

Also, as you scroll through, make sure you get all the way to the bottom cuz there’s a chance to enter to win a $25 gift card from Amazon. So you can buy even more books!

Second, I wrote this paranormal Christmas short last year called Gift of the Gods. It was part of an anthology from which all proceeds were donated to St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital. We raised well over a thousand bucks for St. Jude’s, so that was pretty cool.

Anyway. the antho is no longer available and since the book is so short, I decided to re-release it as part of a boxed set that includes five of my shorter paranormal books. If you’re interested in checking it out, here’s the Amazon link (it’s available pretty much everywhere, FYI): Open the Magic

ancient door with mysterious lights in the night

And another anyway, since it’s Christmas and all, I like to give gifts to people, I decided I’d go ahead and give this one to you all for free. So if you want to read Gift of the Gods for free, you can click this link HERE. But do it before Dec 31 because that’s when it goes away for good. After that, the only way you can get this book is if you buck up the cash for Open the Magic. (Which, hey, feel free to do so cuz there are four other really good books in there!)

Alrighty, those were the two things I wanted to cover. Now I’m going to get back to writing. I have to tackle the edits on Hungry Like A Dragon (second in my Taming the Dragon series), which will release on January 29. And Misti Murphy and I are starting a new series that so far is turning out to be pretty darn funny. If you’re remotely interested in finding out more about what Misti and I write or talk about or joke about, check out our Facebook group, the Sexy Bad Lounge.

Oh, and I wrote this duo of mafia romance books that I need to clean up and get over to the editor so I can release them sometime early in 2019. Which, yikes, is right around the corner! So yeah, I’ve got plenty to keep me occupied.

As for you, well you have a wonderful holiday. I hope it entails lots of smiles and feel-good moments and of course… reading!

Cheers!

Tami Lund Headshot 2014

Tami Lund is an author, wine drinker, award winner, and hopeless romantic. And she hopes you have a very happy, happy new year too!

https://tamilund.com/

Authors Should Be Readers Too

So I wrote this blog on my own website this past weekend, and I planned to “press” it, a.k.a. reblog it over here today, because I thought it was worth sharing … twice.

Except I upgraded my website and now the reblog option is conspicuously absent. So, instead of a reblog, you’re getting a copy/paste.

So here it is, my blog post about why I think authors should be readers too, and a few recommendations based on the last few books I’ve read. Because, you know, authors ARE readers too … or at least, they should be.

Enjoy!

https://tamilund.com/2018/12/02/authors-should-be-readers-too/

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Tami Lund is an author, wine drinker, award winner, blogger, and sometimes she gives away free books as holiday presents. Like this one, which is only available for download until December 31st. Cheers!

GIFT OF THE GODS

 

Instacart, my new best friend.

So, I did a thing.

Last week, I found an Aldi Instacart order that I had abandoned a while back and peeked through it. Wow, I thought. There’s a lot of stuff in there that I actually do need, plus, I need milk for tonight. I started planning and scheming. I could order this stuff to come between 6 and 7, I thought, and by that point, I will have been home for an hour and able to clean the house while waiting for my groceries.

woman carrying basket of fruits and vegetables

Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

Friends, this isn’t like giving your husband a list to go to the store. No. I don’t know about your husband, but if I send him to the store for butter, I can guarantee you that he’s going to come back with unsalted and WHY WOULD YOU EVER BUY UNSALTED BUTTER to use on toast. (Not that it’s ever happened, of course.)

No, not like sending your husband or adult kids to the store at all because I order ahead of time, exactly what I want. You just click on the product, verify the quantity, and move on.  I did notice that some things were a little more than they’d be in the store, but not terribly more. Certainly not enough to dissuade me.

I chose carefully. Two boxes of slim jims. Popcorn. Half and half. Some avocados. All in all, it was about an $80 order.

I’ll admit to some trepidation here because I’m pretty finicky when it comes to picking out my produce. Was my anonymous shopper going to be as careful as I am? We would shortly find out. Spoiler alert: she did fine.

I had a $5 coupon which mitigated the approximately $8 charge. You might quail at an $8 charge. However, I am going to point out to you that the night I ordered Aldi groceries delivered to my house it was about 20 degrees and windy outside and that whole $8 was so well worth it. I wasn’t the one wheeling the cart to the car and unloading the groceries. I wasn’t the one schlepping the cart back to the corral to get my quarter back (in the cold) and I didn’t have to sit in traffic, either.

Was it worth the $8 to have this service?

YOU BET YOUR ASS IT WAS.

Also, the Instacart app keeps you updated on how many items your shopper has already gotten. If they’re out of a certain thing, the shopper texts you to find out if they can make a replacement. For instance, I wanted the peppermint ice cream that’s only out at the holidays but the shopper sent me a text that they were out, and did I wish her to make a substitution? Sure, my PMS said. Pick me up some chocolate.

I was notified when she finished and paid; I knew when she left the store to drive to my house, and I was notified when she pulled up. She was a very friendly young woman. I knew it was her because like Uber, Instacart sends you a picture of your shopper beforehand. I tipped her via the app.

Was it a little nerve wracking to relinquish control to someone else to shop for me? Yes.

Will I do it again?

HELLS to the yes.

Only the next time I probably won’t be cleaning the house, I’ll be wrapping presents.

Christine Cacciatore is a multi-published author who lives—and loves—to write. Together with her sister, Jennifer Starkman, she has published the magical novels Baylyn, Bewitched and Cat, Charmed, with the third book Elise, Evermore coming out soon. On her own, she has written Noah Cane’s Candy, a sassy holiday short romance and Knew You’d Come, a spicy paranormal romance novella.