My husband and daughter were recently gone for five nights and four days. My daughter is in eighth grade and we live in Michigan, and it’s an eighth grade “thing” here to go to Washington DC.
Since my husband is a history buff and also can survive on less than seven hours of sleep per night, he was a chaperone for this trip.
Which meant the dog and I were home alone for FOUR GLORIOUS DAYS.
Oops, who added that extra word in that sentence?
Here’s how the Washington DC trip went from my perspective:
I arrive home from work on Wednesday evening and my husband says, “Will you be able to pick us up on Monday morning?”
Me: “What in the world are you talking about?”
Him: “The bus is leaving tonight and is scheduled to arrive back at the school [which is a Catholic school – this will be important in a moment] at 8:30 Monday morning. Can you pick us up?”
Me: “You have a perfectly well-functioning vehicle. Why would I pick you up?”
Him: “I don’t want to leave my truck there for four days.”
Me: “In a church parking lot?” [See, told you it would be important!]
Him: “I mean, I guess, as a last resort, I suppose I’ll have to…”
Me: “I typically arrive at work at 8:15. To a job that is an hour away. If I pick you up and take you home I won’t get to work until 10 am. What, again, is your issue with leaving your truck in a church parking lot for a few days?”
Him: “I just don’t want to. But if it’s an inconvenience for you…”
Me: “It’s an inconvenience for my employer. Who pays half our bills.”
Me, accompanied by an eye roll: “In case you forgot, your mom is retired and generally loves to help out with pretty much anything.”
Him, texting away to Mom but speaking to me: “So this means you’ll drop us off tonight at seven?”
Cue drop off. Followed by a stop at grocery store for weekend provisions. Read: wine.
Then bedtime. After putting fresh sheets on the bed. And then I lie down, spread eagle in the middle of the bed, and enjoy the utterly heavenly lack of snoring.
Single people don’t know how awesome they have it…
Day two of Washington DC trip:
Go to work. Get there early because, no school drop off. Hope I can wrap everything up and leave a little early since otherwise the dog will be stuck home alone for ten hours.
10 am, mother-in-law texts: Do you think your dog would like a play date with mine?
Me, texting back: YES.
Later that evening, after work: I think I’ll have a couple of drinks instead of walk the dog…
Day three of Washington DC trip:
Go to work. Get home from work. Walk the dog. Best friend calls.
Her: “What are you up to?”
Me, pouring wine: “I’m home alone at the moment.”
Her: “Me too!”
Conversation proceeds for two hours and half a bottle of wine. Okay, okay, maybe more than half.
Day four of Washington DC trip:
It’s Saturday. My favorite writing day, usually. Except I committed to participating in a 5k race. (By participate I mean walk.) Which then leads to lunch, drinks, a visit to a nearby wine store.
Me: Single people really have no idea how great they have it.
Day five of Washington DC trip:
The house is clean, the dog is walked, the grass is mowed, the laundry is done and holy shit I still have six hours before Game of Thrones. This has been a glorious DC trip.
I suppose I do miss them a little, but damn, it’s nice to have a clean house and no snoring. I haven’t slept this well in twenty years.
Day six of Washington DC trip:
It’s Monday. Alarm goes off. That was my last night with the bed all to myself. Also, no snoring.
I’m gonna miss the no snoring.
My phone vibrates with a text.
Husband: “Bus is early. We should be there around 7:30. Can you pick us up?”
Me: Ugh. Grimace. I don’t do well with last minute changes of plans on Monday mornings, even if it means I’ll get to see them before I head to work. “I suppose.”
Him: “Great! See you soon!”
Seven-twenty-five: I pull into my parking space at the church, where a whole bunch of other vehicles are parked and appear to have been there for the last five days, and a moment later, the bus pulls up and starts belching out exhausted looking kids and parents.
Me: Heart gives a funny little lurch when hubby and then daughter step off the bus.
Okay, maybe I did miss them.
But I still didn’t miss the snoring.
Tami Lund writes romance, drinks wine, and really does love her husband and daughter. Although she could definitely do without the husband’s snoring. Check out her website for the latest release: https://tamilund.com/
PS – This book right here is on sale for only 99c right now, and it’s the first in a great new dragon series. And book three, Dragon in Denial, is releasing soon…